Makenzie Daly (born Malka Finkelstein) learned Friday afternoon that her best friend and roommate, Rivka Hershelberg (born Sadie Lynn Jennings), booked that network pilot she went in for last week.

“Oh my god, this could be life-changing,” Makenzie said to her roommate, trying her best not to sound devastated.

Makenzie received the news while in line at a Studio City FedEx. The 28-year-old actress was there sending a package of used undergarments to an online admirer that paid handsomely for her delicates. She had also been up for the part, described as a “Jennifer Aniston” type, but was told by the casting director that she was a little “too bookish” for the role, whatever that means.

“I mean, I guess this really could be a big deal,” feigned Rivka on the phone.

“Oh yeah, this is totally a big deal! Even if the show never gets picked up, which is like, totally common. Most pilots never get–“

“That’s the best part! The network already ordered–“

“Oh, they ordered six episodes?”

“No…” said Rivka, waiting for Makenzie to continue.

“Right, it’s super rare for a network to order a series before the pilot is even–“

“They ordered 22 episodes! Isn’t that weird?” Rivka interrupted, knowing exactly what she was doing.

“Oh fuck. That’s. Fuck. You’re going to be a star, Rivka,” said Makenzie, still holding the box of soiled negligees she was sending to Ohio to help cover rent. As Rivka went on for several minutes about what the showrunner told her about her character arc, Makenzie cried quietly to herself. It was after learning that the network was going to send Rivka and her costars, which included fucking Mischa Barton, Scott Eastwood, and the guy that played Abed in Community, on a three-week team-building retreat to Fiji that Makenzie decided she needed to get off the phone.

“Well, listen girl, I am just so, so happy for you and we’re going to need to celebrate big,” wept Makenzie. As the Oklahoma City native handed the FedEx clerk the box of underwear she felt like a total asshole. Rivka had been her best friend for years and worked really hard waitressing and selling her own panties online to pay for acting classes. Plus, it was probably a good thing for her own career that her roommate became a star. She would probably get to meet all types of industry people and maybe could even get a guest-starring role on her show. “Yeah, this is actually great news,” she thought to herself before getting a text from Rivka informing her that the studio just told her that they had an apartment she could use and she would be moving out that evening.

“My shooting schedule is just going to be really intense and I’m going to need privacy at the end of the day as part of my process,” Rivka texted, adding “I knew you’d understand.”

“Oh, of course, girl. So happy for you! Can’t wait to celebrate,” Makenzie texted back, marking the last time the two ever spoke.