When Dexter Holland, Ph.D arrived in Los Angeles for his niece’s wedding last Thursday, he did what he always does when he is in the City of Angels: tune into KROQ to check out the newest alternative and hard rock music exciting today’s youth. Instead, all he heard was several songs that he recorded as the lead singer of the band The Offspring in the early 90s followed by nothing but Sublime and the Red Hot Chili Peppers tracks.
“It was so strange because KROQ was playing the same songs I remember hearing them play in the 90s. At first I thought I had entered a time hole that took me back to 1996, but then they played Mr. Brightside by The Killers three times in a row and knew I had to at least be in 2004,” said Dr. Holland, who ultimately learned that he was still in 2019 after looking at a mirror and observing the ravages of time. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the airplay, and I guess I shouldn’t complain because I have a mortgage, but does anyone really need to hear “Pretty Fly For a White Guy” again?”
The Avocado called KROQ for comment, but after dialing into their line twenty times in a row we were unable to reach anyone in their programming department. We did, however, win two tickets to see Social Distortion at the House of Blues, which I guess is pretty cool.