Gavin Newsom reportedly spent the weekend trapped inside Madame Tussauds wax museum in Hollywood after a janitor mistook the Governor for his wax replica. “It’s an unfortunate mistake, but one which is ultimately a testament to the talents of our wax sculpturists,” a Tussauds spokesperson told The Avocado in a statement.
The Governor was in Los Angeles for the unveiling of his wax likeness and also to tour the damage of last week’s wildfires if there is time. Unfortunately, as the ceremony began to wind down, a member of the museum’s custodial staff mistook the Governor for a wax figurine and locked him inside.
“His hair was perfect, and his skin was flawless, and he never stopped smiling. How could I not assume he was a wax figure?” said janitor Hector Camacho. When asked whether the Governor verbally objected as he was being locked inside the museum, Mr. Camacho confirmed he did, but assumed it was a Night at the Museum type of situation. “Do you know how much trouble I’d be in if I let every wax figure I saw come to life just walk out into the world?” said Mr. Camacho, a Tommy Chong type who used to take a lot of LSD and also still does.
The Avocado spoke to Governor Newsom, who was still shaken up after his three-day stint in the wax museum. “It was terrible,” the Governor explained, noting that to survive he had to eat a wax figure version of the Rock and fight off a rabid Gary Busey. We assumed he meant he attacked a wax replica of Gary Busey that he confused for the actor in a stress-induced delusion, but now understand it was actually Gary Busey, an old LSD buddy of Mr. Camacho who occasionally takes shelter in the museum. “WAX REPLICA means We Are eXisting Royals Entertaining Prayers Lie In Celebration, Alan,” Gary Busey told us after we asked about his injuries.
For its part, Governor Newsom’s wax figure had a productive weekend. After being mistaken for the real Governor, it was inadvertently shipped to Sacramento where it signed new immigrant protections into law before celebrating Gavin Newsom’s wedding anniversary to his wife, Jennifer.
“Gavin has never listened to me so attentively or felt so present,” wept Jennifer after learning that wax Gavin would be returned to Los Angeles. “I’ll never forget him.”