“I’m running this campaign for everyone in the United States, not just the white people,” Mayor Pete Buttigieg told an all-white crowd in Los Angeles last night. His renewed commitment to diversity comes amid concerns from supporters that the Southbend, Indiana Mayor has been unable to attract significant support from African Americans.
But Buttigieg thinks his reputation among African Americans as “who?” is about to change now that he’s picked up this new Wu-Tang Clan shirt.
Mayor Pete purchased the extra small Tee from the Hot Topic at the Topanga Canyon Mall during a fundraising trip to Southern California last week. “As I was headed to the airport to go back to Iowa I told my campaign manager that I couldn’t leave California without having some authentic Mexican cuisine. We saw that there was a Taco Bell at a nearby Westfield shopping center and, as luck would have it, the Wu-Tang shirt was in the window of the Hot Topic next door.”
When asked why he chose a Wu-Tang Clan shirt, Mayor Pete said he believed Wu-Tang’s longevity and reliance on China were emblematic of the true American experience. The 37-year-old Rhodes Scholar admitted that he was unfamiliar with the group’s music, but said he was a fan of Method Man’s performance in the 2004 Zach Braff movie Garden State. “That movie meant a lot to me when I was younger,” said Mayor Pete before asking a Hot Topic employee whether they had any Shins shirts in stock. They did not.
The Avocado asked Mayor Pete whether he had any similar plans to improve waning Hispanic support for his campaign, to which the boyish Mayor pulled out a Morrisey shirt purchased as part of a 2 for 1 deal at the Hot Topic and a half-eaten burrito supreme drenched in mild sauce.
“Yo soy Pete Buttigieg, y apruebo este mensaje,” laughed the Mayor. As he held up the Morrisey shirt, I felt sort of compelled to tell him about Morrisey’s right-wing, anti-immigrant political beliefs.
“So, wearing a Morrisey shirt won’t help me attract Hispanic voters?” he asked, relieved when I told him that Mexicans largely don’t care that Morrisey is horrible.
“He’s like their Louis C.K.,” I explained. “Oh, I get it. Thanks.”