David Berger, 33, has been working on his screenplay every day for the last three years at a Studio City Starbucks and wants you to know that he is “nearly finished.”

“It’s taken a lot of effort, but the script is just about perfect and should be ready to send to agents and managers in the next six months or so,” said Mr. Berger who moved to Los Angeles five years ago from Cherry Hill, New Jersey to pursue a writing career. His prior credits include “Guy Banned from a Tarzana Coffee Bean for Fighting with a Persian Teenager over Outlet” and he is also the author of an unfinished spec script for Modern Family.

The Avocado spoke to several Starbucks employees about what it has been like watching Mr. Berger work, to which they all responded: “Which white guy with a laptop working on his screenplay are you talking about?” Efforts to explain that Mr. Berger was the pudgy, slightly balding writer with a goatee were unhelpful. “They’re all pretty annoying,” said shift supervisor Nancy Albatross.  “They don’t buy anything and never leave.”

Fellow Starbucks writer, Michael Peacock, who has worked at the table next to David for the last year and is himself only 4 or 5 years away from finishing his own script about his father not loving him or something, said he admires Mr. Berger and appreciates his willingness to watch his things while he is in the bathroom. “I know my laptop is safe when I’m taking a shit if Dave is here.”

Mr. Berger said he wouldn’t be able to work on his art without Starbuck’s lax loitering policies and the fact that refills on iced teas and coffees are free with his Gold Card. When asked what his screenplay was about, Mr. Berger muttered something about it being a genre flick in the style of Jordan Peele or Quentin Tarantino, but refused to give any more details without “proper NDAs” in place. Ultimately, Mr. Berger admitted it was about his father not loving him or something. “I think it’s going to be a significant piece.”

Mr. Berger’s laptop and triple mocha frappuccino, extra whip

When TJ Maxx Homegoods employee Jennifer Lorber arrived to work on the morning of November 1st she was greeted by a familiar voice:

♫I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need…♫

“No! They aren’t playing “All I Want For Christmas Is You” already,” said the 26-year-old narcoleptic to herself. “It’s the day after Halloween! This isn’t right!”

♫I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree…♫

“It must just be Joey playing a trick on the rest of us. No one would start playing Christmas music this early.”

♫I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know…♫

“But Joey’s dead. So who would do this?” she thought as she made her way to the back office.

Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas…

When she opened the door to the back office she saw her store manager Terry taking an inventory of the two-dozen or so cardboard boxes of Christmas decorations that had been delivered to the store that morning. 

“Merry Christmas, Jennifer! We get to put up the X-mas deco today.”

Is you..

“I guess this is really happening,” conceded Jennifer as Terry tossed her a red and white Santa hat. 

“Put this on. Corporate wants us to start rocking our festive wear early this year.”

As the jingle bells, piano trills, and drum shuffle entered the song, she clocked in and began to unpack a giant vinyl snowflake that was to go on the store’s outside windows. It was 84 degrees outside and there was a wildfire blazing 8 miles away.

♫I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need.

And I…♫

“I wonder if Tara is still pissed about last night,” Jennifer thought as she pulled out her phone to see if Tara had texted back. She hadn’t.

♫Don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.♫

“It isn’t even my fault she’s upset. I don’t know why it’s my job to apologize. It’s not like I knew Jesse was going to show up last night.”

♫I don’t need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace. Santa Claus won’t make me happy with a toy on Christmas day…♫

“I mean, I had an idea that he might be going. But whatever, we broke up like 6 months ago. Why am I’m supposed to feel bad about being “too friendly” with him. He’s my friend, I’m friendly.”

♫I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you…♫

“Jesus, this really is a great song,” she thought to herself. “I really don’t like him any more anyway,” she told herself as the rise of the song began to brighten her mood.

I won’t ask for much this Christmas, I won’t even wish for snow.

And I…

“I understand why she’s upset. She feels insecure that my last relationship was with a man, I get that. But she needs to learn to trust me when I say I’m committed to her.”

♫I just wanna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe…♫

Jennifer pulled out her cellphone and scrolled through her Newsfeed to look for pictures of last night. “Jesus, why did I have to sit on his lap,” she questioned herself while enlarging a photo of her from last night. She was dressed as a sexy Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and sitting on Jesse’s lap. “How was I supposed to know he was going to come as a Ghostbuster.

♫Cause I just want you here tonight holding on to me so tight…♫

“Unless…could he have come to the party dressed as a Ghostbuster on purpose? He would have known about my outfit from my Instagram.”

♫What more can I do? Oh baby all I want for Christmas is you…♫

“Of course he knew. What a jerk, and all night he was telling me how good I looked and how crazy it was that we had matching costumes.”

♫All the lights are shining so brightly everywhere, and the sound of children’s laughter fills the air…♫

“And I was so drunk last night, no wonder Tara is mad at me.”

As she walked toward the front of the store with a giant vinyl snowflake tucked underneath her arm she began to text Tara. Her last text to her read: “I’m sorry if u can’t handle me. I won’t be caged.”

♫And everyone is singing. I hear those sleigh bells ringing. Santa won’t you bring me the one I really need? Wont you please bring my baby to be quickly…♫

This time she sent: “Baby, I’m sorry about last night. I was wrong and stupid. I <3 u” 

♫I just want you for my own. More than you could ever know…♫

As she unwrapped the backing off of the vinyl snowflake, she felt a buzz in her pocket. It read: “Thank you. I overreacted too. Let’s talk about this tonight, I love you.”

♫Make my wish come true, baby all i want for Christmas is you…♫

“This really is a great song,” Jennifer thought as she applied the snowflake to the store’s front window. As the song faded out, Jennifer reflected on Tara and how special what was developing between them felt. “It will be nice to spend the holidays together,” she thought as she imagined watching Harry Potter marathons on ABC Family and exchanging gifts with her. “Christmas really isn’t that bad. Maybe November 1st is a good start date for the holidays, after all.”

Suddenly, Jennifer heard the opening notes of the song again.

I don’t want a lot for ChristmasThere is just one thing I need…♫

“Terry, why is the song playing again?”

“Oh, we’re playing this on repeat until January. Corporate said it puts customers in a happy and therefore shoppier mood.”

As Jennifer gazed down at her phone again, she scrolled through pictures of her and Tara from the Halloween party. 

“I just love that she is the type of woman who would dress up as Ada Lovelace for a costume party,” she said to herself while examining a picture of the two of them embracing last night. 

“Maybe I’ll buy her a ring for Christmas,” she pondered to herself as the jingle bells, piano trills, and drums entered the song once again. “That will really show Jesse.”